Countess Luann shares updates on Dorinda and her least favorite housewife ever

Image for post
Image for post

On the heels of #lobstergate during “The Real Housewives of New York City” season 11, Countess Luann de Lesseps returned for another sold-out performance of her #CountessAndFriends Cabaret show last night at Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa in Atlantic City, NJ. “Borgata feels like home to me almost because I did my music video for Chic C’est La Vie here. It’s such a great room, great ambience, and the crowd is always fantastic at Borgata,” Luann shared backstage before taking the stage.

This was Lu’s second time performing at The Music Box theater at Borgata after playing her biggest show yet at the casino-resort last summer. Surprise guests who took the stage throughout the evening included comedian and drag king Murray Hill and singer-songwriter Spencer Day. Luann even shared a smooch with Spencer after he serenaded her with “The Look of Love.”

Countess kicked off the night with “With a Little Help from My Friendsbefore pulling up the bongos, a skill she currently she acquired during her most recent rehab stint, to play during “Fever.” Throughout the evening, she read stories from the past 30 years from a bejeweled, homemade diary. A few highlights:

Housewives Turks and Caicos trip before breaking into a performance of “Girl Code”: “After a wild night on the town, or as wild as you can get in the Turks & Caicos, I get woken up first thing in the morning, by heather having a nervous breakdown because there’s a naked man in the house. I’m like, who died? Why are you crying? I mean I would have been taking selfies by now. I’m barely conscious in the morning, I have a pounding headache, the room is spinning, and Carol and Heather are slut shaming me. The guy wasn’t even mine, he was Ramona’s! Of course mine left at 3 a.m. in the morning — I’m no dummy. You think I’m going to let a guy wake up in a house full of housewives? Are you crazy? No way… Heather is the world’s most annoying college roommate.”

Her divorce to introduce “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend”: “Dear diary, Tom and I are getting divorced. He cheated, and I’m keeping that diamond!”

Image for post
Image for post

Housewives Cartagena trip before singing “Something to Talk About”: “Here I am with the girls in Cartagena. Everything was fine until our three hour boat ride to Gilligan’s Island when all hell broke loose. I should have known the boat seemed a bit shifty to begin with. I mean quaint and charming are not things you look for in a seafaring vessel.”

Memories of her mother before breaking into “Evil Ways”: “I don’t know how my mother does it. There are seven children in our house and one bathroom. You’d never know it though if you looked at her. She always had her hair done, she had her pantyhose on, the table was set. She’s French Canadian and raising seven children in America in the 1970s. And I think her biggest fear is my brothers are corrupting me with keg parties and marijuana. I just know she wanted to see me grow up right, she was trying to set up an example. God knows, she tried.”

Housewives trip to Mexico: “Everybody is drinking way too much. And Ramona and Bethenny have been in the pool for hours naked and crying. I thought I was doing okay until I fell into that bush. Tequila, yeah wasn’t pretty. As I’m coming out of my face plant, Ramona offers up her immortal words of wisdom, ‘you should have taken the stairs Lu’ (while imitating the voice of Ramona).”

Written by

Tony Bowles is one of the youngest sought out journalists in the media world. He focuses on lifestyle, travel, entertainment, food and more! Based out of NYC.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store